Game Quotes

Session 1

"I'm talking to my last patient in session. He thinks he's a panda." - Sophie
"Why does he think he's a panda?" - someone
"Becase I have black circles around my eyes and my round belly is full of bamboo shoots." - Merrie
(after this we decided Merrie should do all of Sophie's patients)

"Mythos, Milquetoast." - Julie

"What kind of jeans are these?" - Merrie
"Denim?" - Julie
"Blue?" - Dwinn

"There's nothing like killing a villian in the first game." - Merrie

"It's not a cell if there's a comfy bed." - Merrie
"It's not a cell if there's not mitochondria." - Liz

"Maybe if you had said it in Middle English it would have been better" - Dwinn, in reference to Genevieve's vulgarity in the last game

Session 2

"I can't be held responsible for accuracy." - Dwinn on the game log

"A good war horse will allow you to suckle milk from it." - Dwinn

"My ex-husband was always in the ER." - Sophie
"He sure is clumsy." - Jill

"Suddenly he becomes French." - Julie
"He must be evil." - Liz

"I'm not going to sit here and put a show on for your benefit." - Paxton
"Sophie AID." - Liz

"Esmegarthe." - the language of Paxton

"Say something; perhaps the back of my gauntlet will convince you to speak." - Jared

"May I ask where you obtained these items?" - Jared, asking were Sarah obtained her rifle
"K-mart." - Sarah

"Nice going, tough guy." - Mythos
"Tough guys do not need to be subtle." - Fayne

"I am Sir Jarrod of the Rose..." - Jared
"And some other crap." - Mer

"Nice to meet you, Lady the Biscuit." - Jared

"She's talking to Thaddeus, Simon and Avner."
"Like you turn at the light onto the Avner?"
"I'm going to give you a cul-de-smack."

"I turn back. I don't turn back. I can't think of a pithy response." - Mer

Session 3

"I don't know what's all this faux royalty, but I'll go with it." - what we thought Liz said

"I have a small 'I just came for the food' look on my face." - Sophie

"Oh no! Obi Wan's hair came off!" - Merrie

"It's the Ethiopain food. I'm spicy." - Merrie

"I need a little Jared knight." - Liz

"I am sorry you are impotent with your wife." - Saul

"You learn that he's the grandson..." -Julie
"Of this guy named Geraint." - Jill

"Win if you can, loose if you must, but always, always, cheat." - 'Grandpa Quentin'

"It means-" - Merlin to Cordelia
"You need a hobby." - Mer

"You look pensive Jared." - Sarah
"Actually, just waiting for you to say something." - Dwinn

Session 4

"I'll be quiet now." - Merrie

"These [jewel pop rings] look like baby pacifiers." - Anne
"No, they're just to keep us quiet," - Mer
"We have an extra one for Mer." - Jill

"Ashley is going to do this to the hilt [fight the duel]." - Julie, punmistress

"He hasn't said honor, yada, yada, yada." - Julie

"It's the kind of wound you keep getting over and over again." - Dwinn
"No, that's an immortal wound." - Mer

"Fortunately, my honor does not rest on my cheek." - Mer

"I hope your sister hasn't ended up flat on her stomach with a demon on her back." - Jared

"Yes, I do have clothes on underneath; armor with no clothes on underneath is just rather itchy." - Jared

Session 5

"You could pour bleach on all the cells and say 'look boss, I found a cure for cancer'." - Jill to Liz

"It's like the goth cancer scene." - Jill

"Dogs do not equal males." - Dwinn

"Come on Dwinn, submit to peer pressure." - Jill
"My tongue is clean." - Dwinn

"My tongue has been clean for seven generations." - Dwinn
"I'm so sorry Julie." - Jill

"Nothing says hygeine like an Underworld bag." - Dwinn

"Do you know the human-looking female on 'Farscape'?" - Anne
"The blue one?" - Liz

"I do not have a cat, I have a behemoth." - Julie

"What do you want to say?" - Jared to the captured man
"I want to say, 'Let me go'." - the captured man

Session 6

"Jill is funnier than fabric." - Mer
"Is that like, 'my butt is warmer than cats?'" - Julie

"It was kind of a goal to see how incestuous I could make it." - Mer, on her old Amber game

"I had a mother and father, but never a mother and father quite like this." - Sophie

"And the other one came back as a homicidal maniac." - Julie , discussing the children of an NPC
"Who would that be?" - Jill
"Me." - Mer/Mythos

"Sounds psychopathic to me." - Sophie
"What's that mean?" - Cordelia
"Crazy." - Sophie, the psychiatrist

"Your nightmare is about your mom." - Julie
"I am adequately disturbed by this." - Mythos

"Doesn't that cat look like Angela Lansbury?" - Merrie, about Grapefruit

"Grandma will be RIFed and we will see if we can put her with another family." - Dwinn

"It appears that my grandfather was a psychopath?" - Sophie discussing Brand

"Fayne is changing." - Sophie
"Like decomposing before your very eyes?" - Mythos
"Well, yes." - Sophie
"I run up the stairs." - Mythos

"You might not want to go through with this (walking the pattern) - it might affect your gender." - Jared, to Mythos, after retrieving Fayne from the Pattern

"If you can get a bath it is always good." - Sophie

And from pregame notes, "Some of the noble households have toes."

Session 7

"I think her name is something that sounds like a dishwasher....oh yeah, Danika." - Liz
"That sounds like a Jewish holiday." - Jill
"Great, my mother is a jewish holiday." - Jill/Fayne

"They called her Mittens because she has six fingers." - Liz
"You should have called her 'Freak Pants'." - Dwinn

"Do I think Fayne on the Pattern was a dream?" - Sophie
"Maybe, but it had the extra special reality of plot to it." - Julie

"Phoebe's there [at breakfast], but she ignores you." - Julie
"That's all right, I assume she has lice." - Mythos

"Do you know anything about killing people?" - Cordelia
"Uh, you might say I do. " - Mythos
"Good, I might want you to kill some people." - Cordelia

"I've been married for 8 years - I have video equipment." - Sophie

"If something is to be gained by killing someone, then by all means kill someone." - 'Grandpa Quentin'

"I've pretty much decided that crime does not pay in Amber because the ex-chequer does." - Mythos

Session 9

"I'm going to be quiet now and let everyone play." -Mer
"One can only hope." -Dwinn

"What does Destiny smell like?" -Mer
"You'll find out." -Dwinn

As Liz discusses her club dress...
"Can your dress lick chocolate off a graham cracker? Then it's got nothing on my teeth." -Mer

"I'm pharmaco-CRAZY!" -Liz

"I go pout in the tub... with water in it and stuff." -Mer

"I can be stone-drunk, passed out, and watching someone for you." -Liz (momentarily taking over an NPC)

"Robert is staring studiously at his sausage." -Julie

"There's a lot of history involved, but to sum it up, she's evil." Cordelia, explaining Anna to Russell

"I'm a woman of few words that aren't mean... or smarmy. So if I like you, I'll stop talking to you." -Mer

Session 10

"I'm too relaxed to find my inner evil." - Jill/Fayne

"Breast milk duds." - Mer

"They're (vampires) like African violets, if you put them in direct sunlight they burn." - Mer

"We're having too much stupidity." - Dwinn

"You have successfully checked books out of the library." - Julie to Cordelia
"Merlin would be so proud." - Jill
"He now has a daughter with opposable thumbs." - Mer

"I find myself woefully underdressed." - Jared
"Un hunh." - Mythos

"You didn't ask Fayne to go to dinner." - Jill
"You were busy....and a woman." - Mer

"Duchess of Rose Amber. I'm the Crown Prince - I can make things up." - Merlin, as he creates a title for Cordelia in Corwin's universe

"Mythos, I hate to say this but I seem to have forgotten my money." - Jared
"I invited you to dinner I'll pay." - Mythos
"How novel." - Jared

"Come morning the day of the ball comes." - Julie
"Bog or ball?" - Jill
"What have you been waiting for Jill?" - Merrie

Session 11

"If he (Paradox) knocks the mouse under the book case again its his problem." - Julie
"Uh Julie, I threw it under the book case last time." - Jill

"So you Jared, go approach Auntie Flora." - Julie
"More like antique Flora." - Mer

"What's he (Herrick) dressed as? Never mind--brown nosing bastard." - Mythos

"I promised Merlin I'd stay here." - Cordelia
"You have to come. I think we're being arrested." - Jared

Session 12

"Farod," - Mythos, mis-speaking Fayne's name
"It's my turn to be Jill." - Merrie, a moment later, in reference to Jill's inability to prounounce character or npc names
"Or maybe she turned Muslim." - Dwinn

"I thought it was going to lead us to the bad guy lair." - Mythos, to her mother
"Your daughter has much to learn in the ways of good and evil." - Gabel

"I don't use my mother for much of anything except 'get out of jail free'." - Mythos

"Delilah arches an eyebrow at your Fayne form." - Julie
"Fine form?" - Jill

"I am flattered that you took the time to develop the costume you did." - Jared about Mythos' dominatrix costume

"Dear Penthouse, you would never believe it could happen to me, I'm a 40 year old knight in a barbaric land." - Dwinn/Jared

"Personal space is inviolate, unless I'm trying to kill you." - Mythos

"I think you were more of erecting him, not wrecking him." - Jill about Mythos and Jared

"Rebecca is a gentle soul." - Julie
"We call them wimps." - Merrie

"If you jump into the Abyss for somebody and they don't come back to you, it wasn't meant to be." - Merrie

"Fayne, is my g-d. I am going to grow up to be him." - unknown.

Session 13

"She gets a feeling of contentment, I get the tower and the ten of swords." - Jill, grumbling about Fayne's tarot reading

"Cordelia, house wife of Amber." - Mer

"He's the avatar of smarminess." - Jill, about Herald

"You wake up in an empty bed." - Julie
"Alas... which is what should be in my bed." - Jared

Bad Pun Alert... "He shoos you out the door." - Julie, as Jeb kicks Mythos and Jared out after the come to borrow shoes from him.

"I find it [Pattern] quite useful if you want to be mangled." - Fayne

"Naked medieval full-contact co-ed floor hockey." - Amber's newest franchise sport

"To get the king's hand, one must take out the middle finger." - Mythos

Session 14

"Fayne doesn't like to do violence against people when their wives are sleeping in bed next to them." - Jill

"It's really not crowded at all, except for Quentin's big ego." - Julie

"Now I'm faced with one man and two bodies." - Mythos

"She was never that intolerable to most of you." Mer, about Gwyn

"Martha is the name of people who marry farmers." - Mythos

"You've seen Fayne's pants." - Mythos
"I thought he might have had some sort of coating painted on his skin." - Jared

"She's not dead [therefore] she's fine." Fayne on Sarah

Session 15

"Who's the guy on the flag carrying the horse?" - Jill

"I didn't think it was my fault, I thought it was because you are clumsy." - Merrie, on why Julie burned herself ironing the dress she helped make for Mer

"We can't least we have sex." - Mythos, about Mythos and Jared

"So you're going to blame me for this." -Mythos
"If not you, that fop." -Harrick
"Caspian?" -Mythos
"No, Fayne." -Harrick
"He's not much of a fop, but he is a bastard." - Mythos

"Well, shape shifting costs an arm and a leg, no pun intended." - Jill

"Silly me thinking any of this would be based in reality." - Dwinn

Session 16

"It's Fayne." - Mer
"Fayne! I want to live forever..." -Dwinn

"Wow, I could do black market tampons." - Fayne/Jill

"No Quentin wouldn't talk about it." - Mer
"Yeah, it didn't happen to him." - Dwinn

The group approached a mysterious door...
"We should probably..." -Jared
"I open it." - Mythos
"... check for traps." - Jared

"This does not seem to be the heart of evil in the castle. It seems to be the heart of annoyance in the castle." - Mythos

"Oedipus rock." - Mer

"I send her back an e-mail." - Fayne, on how he will respond to the note left by Ambriel

"He heals my tailbone." - Mythos
"He does a laying on of hands." - Julie

"There are easier ways to get Fayne's pants off than to cut off his legs." - Jill

Session 17

"You're alive!" - Jared
"So are you, despite my best efforts." - Mythos after a pathetic attempt at a headlock

"Breakfast sounds pretty good, but I should probably come back in and put some clothes on." - Mythos

"I gather the Pattern is not something to take lightly." - Ambriel
"No, no, it's not." - Fayne

"Do you understand how I feel about guns? They are like my children!" - Mythos trying to explian why her mother shuld give her the guns back

"Gywn's not the only one with a god complex in this game." - Mer

"My one hope for being taken in your confidence is the hope that you explain more clearly than you just did." - Jared to Herald

"I am not a man of extremes." - Herald
"Except extremely snide." - Mer

Session 18

"Maybe my name is Mythos Logos? I'm my own worst enemy." - Mer

"Bionic teeth, cyber teeth." - Mer
"I believe they're called dentures." - Dwinn

"Bad, like it wasn't very good." - Jill

"As long as there are no naked pictures of you two." - Jill
"I don't think Meijers processes those." - Mer
"That's why we have a digital camera." - Dwinn

"They [the Chaos army] were on our doorstep last time." - Jenner
"Doorstep, hell. They were using our bathrooms." - Mer

"Are you angry about something?" - Jared
"Yes, I am irritated with my mirror." - Mythos

"Whores and Sea Urchins." - Jill's proposed title for the session

"Now I'm with you." - Mer
"That's okay. Sometimes I drive on my own roads." - Jill

Session 19

"He doesn't like Fayne. He's unsavory," - Jill
"But Mythos has those same characteristics." - Julie
"That's different." - Dwinn
"Mythos has boobs." - Mer

"It doesn't count as a vacation if you spend the day in the bathroom puking." - Julie

"Fayne is quiet throughout all of this, with whatever expression I have on my face." - Jill

"She seemed kind of normal; I only remember the freaky people." - Dwinn

"Can you finish this trump?" - Mythos asking Cordelia
"I don't know the person." - Cordelia
"I thought there was maybe..." - Mythos
"Some trump hive mind?" - Julie

"When my sidekicks go missing, I go snarfy." - Mythos

"I will take this moment of aloneness to test my theory into a pillow." - Mythos

"You and what army?" - Mythos
"The church army." - Jared
"Of course they'll follow you." - Mythos

"I'm only really good at sneaking up behind them and shooting them in the head." - Mythos

Session 20

"I'll have to butter you up, so you can ride me home." - Jill

"Actually, maybe they're just rocks. Every year you'll get two more and then you'll have a border for your garden."- Jill
"Or a rock quarry." - Dwinn

"I think butter is preferable to suicide."- Jill
"Yeah, butter is edible." - Dwinn

"So Mythos, you just killed the emperor of Chaos, what are you going to do?" - Julie
"I'm going to Dairy Queen." - Jill
"Ive heard you have to alterante gatorade with something else." - Anne
"Whiskey." - Dwinn

"If people want to do the chicken dance, that's fine. I'll be off in the corner mocking them." - Dwinn

"I say this in the sense that it's said." - Fayne

"Laughter is the natural diuretic." - Dwinn

"I wouldn't want to be a member of the church that had me as the leader." - Gwyn

"I don't think any of the high priests of the court had floozies on the side." - Mythos

"Okay...fuck you, I love you!" - Fayne to Delilah

Session 21

"There's going to be queen-sized matricide." - Dwinn

"Brand in my head told me; Dworkin in the mirror confirmed it." - Mythos

"I just had this horrible mental image of Gwyn as Homer Simpson." - Julie

"Predatory cynicism versus suicidal cynicism." - Julie, on the difference between Fayne and Mythos

"Jared's not going to like you having another man in your body." - Fayne, to Mythos

"Tevis is furniture." - Mythos

"Mythos is just not very flexible." - Mer
"Oh yes she is." - Dwinn

"Perhaps Bailey and the ring would like some time alone." - Fayne

Session 22

"If not for the chance of instant death, this would be comical." - Dwinn

"Grapefruit, how would you take care of the demons?" - Julie
"I would eat them all and then come home and throw up on Dan's carpet." - Jill, speaking for the cat

"Maybe I'm obsessive impulsive." - Mythos

" books have call numbers on them and not because I stole them." - Mythos

"What would you prefer I call him, your beau, your significant other?" - Biscuit
"Your love slut?" - Jill

"It's a very strange relationship; he's totally comitted to her, and she figures she'll use him." - Dwinn

"Something you can only get on a high tech world--Nutella." - Mythos

"Let em tell you something, every now and then boyfriends have to do this sort of thing." - Mythos

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