"And if there's no-one you can pray to, does that mean you can't be
--The Nields, "Julia"
I stared at the card, as if sheer desperation would be enough no overcome the boundaries between universes.
No such luck.
Damn it, Dad, where are you?!
Juliana. Or Julia. I'm not sure which is for real. I'm not even sure what or who she is.
Though her screams sounded human enough.
I'm not sure what I was expecting when Simon said he'd get the information out of her. Here, there is no fae to read currents of thought and emotion in. Dad mentioned a couple of times the sorts of things you could do through a psychic contact.
Dear God, I feel so naieve.
And yet, all I did was stand there and shudder at that gut-wrenching sound. I lifted no finger to stop it. She said she only wanted to protect Merlin, keep him from being used as a pawn.
Have I, by not stepping in, helped to do just that to her?
Vulkin' hell. We need to know who she is, who she works with, and why they think that they can protect my brother from a man who's reach extends between universes.
But why do I get this feeling that I have somehow screwed up?
I'm rapidly coming to the conclusion that ruthlessness is supposed to be an intrinsic trait in Amberites. Dworkin has a number of times let on that Oberon would have put a stop to many of the ongoing shenanigans with a bit more finality than we have been willing to assert. Though from what I've heard of my illustrious grandfather, I'm quite sure I would have disagreed with his methods just as strongly.
Based on that, I can see where we'd be a bit disappointing to Dworkin. But as much as I have to respect his position as creator of the Universe, I'm sure as hell not going to sit by while he plays games with the live of me and my cousins, or while he forces us to play games with the lives of those around us.
If only I'd regained those convictions in time, for Julia's sake...
"But for now, I live with myself
in the middle of the night."
--Ferron, "Stand Up"