[Cecily]Thirty-Two: "Dreams Made Flesh"







       I've found, from time to time, that the notion of futility escapes me. I've rarely been in a situation with no option but to wait for the inevitable bad to arrive and end the day. It's made no sense, because I've always been able to find an option, or a way out. Even from death. I've just never been able to stand by and wait for my destiny to arrive. Which, perhaps is why (if I have one) it's never caught up with me until now.
        Occasionally, though, I can see the allure of handing all responsibility to the vagaries of fate.
        Not that I'm about to do anything of the sort.
        I listened to Random's story with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. I'm sure the details made much more sense to someone of Harry's esoteric sensibilities. I, however, found myself looking at it as just one more thing to add to the list of "impossible tasks to overcome."
        It's becoming an impressive catalogue.
        There was some small solace in learning that my theory on the recent event was damn close to the truth, but I could have done without that particular validation. Or the knowledge of Zamorna's involvement.
        I can't say I'm surprised. He's a persistent little bastard, I'll give him that. It disturbs me though, that Fletcher isn't sure how he's managed this. Zamorna's bad enough; I don't want to consider the trouble we're in if he's gotten himself an ally powerful enough to either support his interests in Chaos, or get him into the Dream... or worse, figured out how to do it himself.
        In any event, we have to figure out how to get him out of it.
        If these Sendings are actually pulling us into the Dream, and some of us aren't affected by them, there's got to be a way we can use that to our advantage. Manipulate the conditions, or change the focus Find some way to either turn it back on him, or use it to bring the fight to him. Random says he doens't have full control over it. There is just something so delightfully snarky about the idea using his attack to get our own in.
        Wouldn't that just piss him off?

        I spent much of the afternoon after the talks with Random and Fletcher avoiding any manner of social interaction. Well, that is, after I managed to get rid of Stark and Griffin, both of whom seemed intent to find my last nerve, get on it, and wait for the ensuing carnage.
        I think I handled it well. At least, I handled it with less violence than I'm accustomed to. So I spent a few quiet hours pondering the annoyingly ephemeral nature of our current crisis. It didn't really improve my mood, so eventually I just went back to work.
        That's when Luke came to break the next wave of bad news.
        I guess it's a good thing we're going to make a move against Roth. Throwing in a rescue mission shouldn't be too hard.
        Once I beat the details of what happened out of Merlin...

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04/19/01