[Moments of Adoration]

Tippets for nanda.

He sat up gingerly, almost falling off the narrow bed on which he'd been lying. Teal'c, Carter and Daniel stood in the middle of what looked like some sort of alien lab, talking to an alien with a giant, bubble head. A quick glance down told him all his gear had been taken, but he was still dressed. That had to count for something.

"You have no right to keep us here," Carter was saying, fingers twitching against her thigh, where her sidearm was usually holstered.

Jack slid off the bed, adjusting himself as the ache in his groin intensified. He wondered if he should feel violated.

"But it is for your protection, Major!" Bubblehead waved its elongated fingers. "I am afraid we must keep you here through the duration of the pregnancy. It is a delicate matter, balancing three genetically different embryos in a single womb environment."

Bwuh?

"Pregnancy?" That was Daniel, calm, curious and wincing as Carter dug her fingers into his arm.

"Yes. We created embryos using Major Carter's eggs, and sperm that we collected from each of you, and implanted them in Major Carter."

"You what?" Jack sidled up next to Teal'c. "Someone want to bring me up to speed? I'm a little fuzzy after the whole alien stun ray back at the Gate."

Bubblehead wobbled its big head at Jack. "I am following elementary research protocols necessary to establish my credentials. The results of this experiment will earn me a place in the Council of Investigations. With honors, I imagine." Bubblehead's wide slash of a mouth worked open and closed. "You are all amazing specimens."

"We're your dissertation topic?" Daniel had finally ramped up to indignant. "That's unethical! It's... it's-"

Carter cut him off. "Forget that. I'm pregnant, by all three of them, and I didn't even get to have sex?"

Bubblehead sighed. "Major, my experiment required precisely controlled conditions and-" Carter lunged for Bubblehead, who shrieked and frantically stabbed at a control on his wrist. She bounced back from the forcefield that sprung up when her fingers were inches from his wide, squat neck, Teal'c catching her before she hit the ground.

"I see that it will take time for you to acclimate to the situation. I will leave you to-" Bubblehead didn't bother to finish his statement before fleeing the room.

"Well." Jack adjusted himself again. "Gin rummy, anyone?"

Three weeks later...

During their eleventh game of gin rummy that afternoon, Carter stood up, throwing her cards onto the exam table they were using as a playing surface.

"Nobody knocked, Carter." Jack reached over to examine her cards, hand freezing in mid-grab when she started to strip.

She'd flung her shirt and bra away and was fighting with her belt before Jack managed to say, "Um, Carter?"

Her belt came loose and she pulled it off with a sharp crack that made Daniel, who had been sitting next to her, jump and squeak. "Since I'm stuck with the results of this little alien experiment," she said, "I am damn well going to get some enjoyment out of it."

Her pants fell to the floor and the three men exchanged confused looks as she hooked her thumbs in the elastic of her underwear and yanked them down. "Sam," Daniel said in that tone usually reserved for calming hot-tempered aliens with large guns or pointed objects, "are you okay?"

Her gaze snapped to Daniel and she stabbed a finger at him. "Strip."

"Um. Why?"

"Because we're having sex. Now."

Daniel scooted off the cot and shuffled away from Carter. "Sam, maybe you should just calm down a minute. Think this through."

"I've been thinking it through, Daniel. Now don't make me come over there." When he took another step backward, she strode after him. Anticipating his feint to the left, she grabbed him by the back of his t-shirt, yanking it up.

"JACK!"

When Jack and Teal'c moved to stand, Carter glanced over her shoulder at them. Her hand was twisted in the fabric of Daniel's shirt, which she'd pulled half off, trapping his arms above his head and muffling his pleas for help.

"You two are next, so don't even think about it."

Very slowly, they sat back down. "Right. We'll, just, ah, stay here."

"Indeed."

Using the shirt like a leash, she dragged Daniel to one of the infirmary-style beds and tripped him onto it, one hand still holding the shirt to pin him down, while her other hand went for his pants.

"Sam, wait. Sam, don't... Sam, what are you... Oh... Oooooh. Oh! OH! Oh, god! Sam! Yes!"

Jack stared at the cards on the table, and then began to gather them up. "So, Teal'c, buddy. Poker? Hearts? Go Fish?"

"It has been some time since I enjoyed a game of Go Fish."

As Jack dealt, the bed started squeaking, adding to the rising chorus of moans, random exclamations to God, and hard, heavy breathing.

"T.?"

"Yes, O'Neill?"

"It's very, very wrong that I find this totally hot, isn't it?"

"I share your pain, O'Neill."