[Moments of Adoration]
While not written in direct reponse, I finished this in part because of snide reference to Sam as "Princess Samantha" on a Joe Mallozzi's blog.
"You guys okay?" Carter was leaning over him, hand held out, as Teal'c grabbed Daniel by the back of his vest and hauled him up.
"No, I'm not okay," Jack said as he accepted Carter's hand, letting her take the bulk of his weight as he got his feet under him. "What the hell was that?"
"What?" Her mouth twisted around the word in a perplexed little moue.
"You, with that mouth." Jack flicked his fingers at her, sending little gobbets of swamp flying into her hair. The moue flattened out in distaste. "That very dirty mouth."
"What," she said, "'fuck'? That's dirty?" She made a show of examining the AF insignia patch on his shoulder. "Are we in the same service, Colonel?"
Jack twitched that shoulder in a shrug, as much at her question as to dislodge something wet stuck under the collar of his shirt. "I guess I just thought you were more... wholesome."
"Wholesome?" Daniel's smug delight was punctuated by Teal'c's astonished eyebrow, and Jack wondered just what went in Carter and Daniel little nerd-klatches that Daniel was so amused by all this.
Carter's expression, however, had been fluctuating between incredulity and affront since he started flinging accusations and mud at her, and when Jack went on to explain, "You know, the 'Holy Hannah' thing. It's so... quaint," it settled firmly on affront.
"And 'for crying out loud' isn't completely twee?" Carter rolled her eyes. "It's habit. My dad used to say it all the time because my mother would give him hell for swearing in front of me and Mark. Trust me, I learned all the good stuff from him long before the Pollyanna crap." The sudden glint in her eye made him nervous. "Would you like me to demonstrate my proficiency, sir?"
"No!" Jack cleared his throat, hands waving frantically, as if that would ward off any profane outbursts. "No. I believe you, Major. Really. I think we should just move along." The handwaving became an exaggerated sweeping motion, as if he could shoo both Carter and the topic off down the trail.
"Shall I take point, sir?"
"Yes. You do that." Jack stood in the middle of the trail as she flashed him a brilliant smile before turning to pick her way through the muck.
"Not one word," he said as Daniel and Teal'c squelched up, bracketing him with a smirk and a quirk of an eyebrow. "Not one. Colorful or otherwise."